Friday, March 18, 2016


Who are you?

Have you ever taken the Myers Briggs test?  You should.  It's quite revealing...only if you are honest.  Don't get me wrong.  I know who I am.  I know what I am.  But now I have a name and I can....define it?  

I am an INTP (introversion, intuition, thinking, perceiving). And yeah, that's me.  Up and down.  Left and right.  Seriously, if you want to know the type of person I am...for over 20 years, I've taken this test and I always end up the same.

So, who am I?
according to 

The INTP personality type is fairly rare, making up only three percent of the population, which is definitely a good thing for them, as there's nothing they'd be more unhappy about than being "common". INTPs pride themselves on their inventiveness and creativity, their unique perspective and vigorous intellect. Usually known as the philosopher, the architect, or the dreamy professor, INTPs have been responsible for many scientific discoveries throughout history. got me!

Wiki says:

INTP (introversion, intuition, thinking, perceiving) is an abbreviation used in the publications of the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to refer to one of the MBTI's 16personality types.[1] The MBTI assessment was developed from the work of prominent psychiatrist Carl G. Jung in his book Psychological Types. Jung proposed a psychological typology based on the theories of cognitive functions that he developed through his clinical observations. From Jung's work, others developed psychological typologies. Jungianpersonality assessments include the MBTI assessment, developed by Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Cook Briggs, and the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (KTS), developed byDavid Keirsey.
INTPs are marked by a quiet, stoic, modest, and aloof exterior that masks strong creativity and enthusiasm for novel possibilities. Their weaknesses include poor organization, insensitivity to social niceties, and a tendency to get lost in abstractions. Keirsey referred to INTPs as Architects, one of the four types belonging to the temperament he called theRationals. INTPs are relatively rare, accounting for 1–5% of the U.S. population.[2][3][4]

Basically...I'm weird. 

Why is she still here?

In the past year, I've watched family and friends say goodbye to their four legged furbabies left and right.  These are dogs/cat/animals/etc. that suffered for a long time and some, just weeks after a diagnosis.  And yet, there's Rosey, holding on like there's no tomorrow.  I can't "put her down" and feel good about it.  She still eats, she still acts like she loves being alive.

And yet, she can't walk. She has no muscles whatsoever.  I feel every bone in her body and I cry.  She poops when she wants to, sometimes in the bed.  She looks at me with those "I'm so sorry" eyes and I grab her and tell her, "It's ok. I still love you." Of course, she can't hear me because she's deaf now.

All of this happened within the past year.  Is it the Ehrlichia? Is it old age? Is it cancer? Is it degenerative myelopathy?  Who knows?  I can't afford the tests that could tell me what is exactly wrong with her.  So I feed her meds that may or may not help. I hand feed her the food that supposedly helps her. I bought her an $80 harness and hold her up when we go outside so she can pee (and it takes her a while sometimes).  She refuses to pee inside now (she had noooooo problems before this LOL). 

I barely sleep.  I'm like that parent who's constantly listening for their newborn baby to make a sound.
But I love her.  I'm hoping I'll see the signs when she's ready. Or one day, she'll fall asleep and not wake up.

Until then, by God, I will do what I can to make her comfortable.  Because I love her.  And she came to me when I needed her the most.

Without her, you wouldn't have me.  Seriously.